We’re all looking to be loved in some way or another. Loved by our family, loved by our friends, loved by our pets. Love is a universal language that we all understand and according to Anthropologist, Helen Fisher, love can be addictive, similar to the feeling one has when high on cocaine as explained in her Ted talk “The Brain in Love.”
When and how we find love sometimes appears to be completely random or “fated.” But as a true believer in the power of manifestation, I have tips and tricks that can help you manifest love in your life whether you’re looking for your first true love or looking to bounce back from a failed relationship and find a partner that fits where you are currently in your life.
Finding Love Starts with Loving Yourself
If you’re looking for a love relationship, you’ve probably heard from someone that you can’t find love until you’re a “whole” or “complete” person. This can be frustrating for a single person to hear, especially since as individuals we should be constantly growing and changing (hopefully) for the better. And what about the people that meet and marry their soul mate from high school? There’s no doubt that they still have a lot of personal growth ahead of them. Love can come at any time but what I do believe is that finding true, lasting love starts with loving yourself. You can meet the love of your life tomorrow but if you’re not ready to receive the love and spiritual gifts that person has to give you, the result can be a failed relationship.
Self-love does not mean loving the way you look and taking a million selfies. We have enough of that in the world. It means knowing thyself, being happy and content with the core of who you are, where you come from and what your soul came into the world to do, aka your life purpose. We all have one! It also means being ok with your past mistakes, owning up to them and committing to learning and growing from them. Who you are and what you’re about is who you attract. So if you are looking for a love that is everlasting, pure and honest you should start by asking yourself the following questions:
Do I have similar or complimentary qualities to the person I am looking to attract?
If the answer is no, look to make some changes in your life. If you want someone who is honest, make sure you live your life by walking in and telling the truth. Want someone good with money? Hopefully you’re committed to being financially responsible.
What are my strengths & weaknesses?
Make a list of the things you know you’re good at and not so good at. Partnership requires yin and yang energy. If you’re a type “A” personality who’s good at organizing and being in charge you will probably do better with a partner who is more relaxed and easy going.
Are you healed from your past relationships?
This is a big one. We all have a past and our relationships shape us. Many people are inclined to jump into another relationship after a break up and this can be a huge mistake if you haven’t acknowledged and worked on the issues that contributed to your break up. And if you feel that the reason for your breakup is only your ex-partner’s fault, you’re probably wrong. None of us are perfect. If your partner was a cheater, there is a reason you attracted that cheater. So address it.
Have you faced your family issues?
Just like past relationships, our family issues shape us. Maybe your father left your mother for another woman when you were a child. Now you have abandonment issues, so you’re clingy. This can be detrimental to a relationship and may push your partner away. My recommendation would be to see a therapist or a spiritual healer like myself to help you tackle these sorts of issues head on.
Get Clear About What You’re Looking for in a Relationship
After you’ve addressed your personal issues and if you are indeed ready for love, you can start to define what it is you are looking for in a relationship. Since manifesting has become more of a main stream topic because of books like “The Secret,” more people throw this term around and in my opinion the technique has gotten a little diluted. Many people think manifesting requires making a list of things you want, doing a vision board and waiting for those things to magically appear. This is not so. A big part of manifesting is focusing on the feeling you will have when what you are trying to create appears in your life.
Find out when the next new moon will occur
New moons are about new beginnings and the energy is perfect for manifesting. There is a new moon every month so you will have plenty of opportunities to use this energy to help you find love.
Make a list of the traits you want in a partner / Make a vision board
I keep a manifestation journal that I write in every new moon. You can do the same for your “ideal partner list” and/or you can make a vision board. It is ok to get specific about the partner you want to attract but being too specific (i.e. the exact job title he/she has or the shape of their nail beds (Virgos I’m talking to you!) can cause you to be unrealistic and nit picky about the partner that is best for you. Remember, none of us are perfect so expecting the “perfect” partner with no flaws to show up on your door is a recipe for disappointment.
Edit your list
Now that you have your list down its time to edit. If you have “6’4” or taller” on your list, I wont judge you. Most of us will have a lot of physical attributes on our list. But maybe you should change it to “Taller than I am when I’m wearing my favorite high heels.” If you have “rich,” you may want to change it to “financially responsible, knows how to make money and support our future family.” Remember money comes and goes. Marrying for money may seem like a good idea but what if he/she looses their fortune? You get the drift.
Finding Love Usually Requires you to Take Action
Unless you’re extremely lucky (maybe luck planet Jupiter is in your 7th house of partnerships), your dream mate is not going to show up on your front door. Where many people fail when it comes to manifesting is expecting their dream to happen without putting in any work. If you’re single and all you do is go to work, come home and do the same thing over and over for months, most likely you will not meet anyone new. You need to broaden your horizons to increase your chances for meeting your new boo.
Some ways to do this:
Sign up for a dating site / hire a matchmaker
Be more active on social media. Hey, people find love on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook!
Commit to going out with a friend/friends to a new place at least once a week
Tell your friends, family and coworkers that you are looking to meet someone new and have them stay on the lookout for you.
Move – it could mean moving to another part of the city or across the country. If you live in a small town your chances of finding someone new may not be as great as living in a bigger city.
Whatever you’re doing now, do something different. If you continue to do the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll get the same results.
And that’s it folks! Of course there are other ways to find love but these are techniques that I’ve seen work for ME and many of my clients. If you need some personal guidance with finding love, feel free to contact me!